When my brother invited me to take a holiday with him in Thailand, I jumped at the chance. I know he wanted to go there to get jumped – it being the sex capital of the world; I just wanted to spend some time on the beautiful beaches. No fucky-fucky for me. Little did I know that I would end up fucking my way out of a fine.
Out one night, my brother spotted a live sex show and I wasn’t in the mod for another coke guzzling, ping-pong ball popping "vagina’s" session. You have seen one, and you have seen them all.
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We went our separate ways, agreeing to meet at the hotel later, and I found a nice quite bar and settled down to meet some locals. Needing to smoke, I went outside and stood on the pavement, there was a cop across the road and his eyes met mine, so we cordially greeted one-another.
Glanced exchanges went back and forth across the street, there was a bit of chemistry here, but sadly my cigarette was finished, so I killed it on the pavement and went to go back inside the bar. Then I felt someone gently take the inside of my arm and I turned around.
It was the cop and very politely he asked me to accompany me to his police vehicle as he had to issue a fine. "A fine – for what?" I responded. For breaking the law was his response.
I walked across the road with him, and he explained that I was not allowed to drop my cigarette in the street – it was a 0 fine. 0 US is a lot of money when you are on holiday in Thailand and I was still going to be there for another week, so I turned on the charm.
He responded that breaking the law by littering was a serious offence, I glanced about me at the clean streets and damned my filthy smoking habit. So I asked how I could get off the fine, he just came right out and said he fancied me, so I said let’s go.
So this was how I found myself in a police car, fucking with a Thai cop, illegally on Phuket Beach, and actually having a really good time. Hell this was worth every cent of the 0, and I now wouldn’t have to pay it. In fact the whole thing went down so well that he asked me out the next night.
We saw each other a few times after that, asnd he even took me for dinner at his family home, which was interesting, but the fucking was never so good as that first illicit fuck on the beach. Thank God he didn’t turn out to be an axe murderer or a pervert.
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