Although premature ejaculation is a more common sexual dysfunction in men, delayed ejaculation, or inability to reach orgasm is not unusual. Unlike women, men cannot fake an orgasm because there is physical evidence of orgasm in men. Men who are unable to reach orgasm during intercourse may have a physical or psychological problem.
Sexuality is tied closely to a man’s ego and dysfunction can be emotionally devastating. The are complex factors involved in male sexual dysfunction. It can be related to certain physical diseases or to stress, exhaustion or psychological inhibitions. Additionally, failure to ejaculate can result in physical discomfort or pain i n men so the condition should not go untreated. The psychological effects of a single sexual failure can result in more sexual failures if a man loses confidence in his ability to perform. A supportive sexual partner is important when a man has performance issues.
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One way to determine whether the cause is physical is for a man to self stimulate outside the presence of his sexual partner. If he is able to reach orgasm through self stimulation, it is likely that the problem is psychological. If he is still unable to reach orgasm, he should seek medical attention. The psychological barriers to orgasm may have to do with a man’s religious background, childhood emotional trauma or a lack of trust or inability to achieve emotional intimacy. Guilt over inappropriate sexual behavior can result in sexual dysfunction with a partner.
There are men who have perfectly normal responses when engaging in sex with a partner, but are unable to achieve orgasm through self stimulation (masturbation). Again, the problem may have to do with religious taboos. Many Christian sects in particular, have strong taboos regarding masturbation. The guilt created by these taboos can cause men to be inhibited about their sexual responses. Just as guilt can result in a lack of sexual response for women, it can easily have the same dampening effect on men.
Sexual dysfunction cannot be overcome without help. The first step is for a man to consult his urologist, especially if the problem is a recent development. The urologist can rule out possible physical causes. Sexual dysfunction can be a symptom of a serious health problem, and should never be ignored. If the urologist is finds no medical problem to explain the dysfunction, then a man should seek the help of a therapist specializing in sexual dysfunction.
The therapist will probably want a regular sexual partner or spouse to participate in the therapy program. These mental health professionals can help men deal with guilt and attraction issues which may be interfering with their sexual function. Couples are encouraged to explore new avenues of stimulation which they may not have tried before. There is no pressure to perform, the exe rcises are intended to promote physical intimacy, but not necessarily to lead to intercourse. Creating an atmosphere of relaxation and acceptance is key to the treatment. Partners must be supportive.
In addition to treatment, there are exercises that men can practice to strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle. Training of the muscle promotes control over ejaculation. The Penis Health Program has instructions for exercises that can promote sexual pleasure for men and their partners.
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